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VUMS students were asked to help build origami cranes for a Middlebury College celebration of displaying 1,000 cranes for Martin Luther King Day. About 25 students participated during their SPARK time to learn, fold, and string the cranes. A few students were very helpful and patient instructors! Thanks paper folders for volunteering your time, and thank you Carolline Griffin for supplying the materials and including us in this project.

Here are some photos of our readers theater about the “Epic of Gilgamesh.” Students performed pieces and learned about Ancient Mesopotamia.

On Thursday, February 20th, VUMS will host our schoolwide spelling bee for any interested spellers in grades 6 through 8. Students should plan to study and familiarize themselves with the school spelling list here in preparation for the school bee and pre-registration is REQUIRED. We will also have afterschool Fusion speller support on Thursdays starting January 23rd. Our top THREE school spellers will go on to compete at St. Michael's College on Monday, March 24th! Contact Stacy Raphael (sraphael@anwsd.org) or check out the flyer to learn more.

A short article with a simple message. Actually utilizing the advice in the moment is the challenging part. Maybe the hot potato reference is enough to remind us to take a breath and respond in a supportive manner despite the teenage anger coming at us. Thanks for reading. The linked title each week takes you to the online article, which often includes a video or other resources to support ourselves and our middle schoolers. Hope everyone has a great week.

April & Jay

The “Hot Potato” Reaction That Parents Should Watch Out For

Avoid the temptation to fling it back at them.

By Gabby Cullen

November 4, 2024

Teenage anger is no joke. Raging hormones, changing friendships, and school stressors are just a few reasons teens tend to act out. And who gets the brunt of their emotions? You guessed it—their parents. While we’ll always be there for them, being targeted like a punching bag isn’t ideal or fun. In a recent TikTok, parenting expert Dr. Lucie Hemmen offers a great solution for when your tween or teen is in a mood, needs someone to take it out on, and you happen to be the closest target.

She calls it the “Hot Potato” reaction, and this is how she explains it: “If I’m a teenager, and I’m mad at myself, or I’m mad at the world because I dropped the ball, or I failed to plan something well, and so I have a raging internal conflict, which is a lot for me to tolerate at my delicate age, what I’d rather do—this is not conscious, it’s unconscious—I’d rather take that internal fight that I’m having with myself that feels so horrible, and I’d rather toss that hot potato I’m holding inside onto you and see what you do with it. I am going to say something provocative so that you will engage with me, and then I can have a fight with you, and then I can offload some of my horrible internal tension and then be grumpy with you.”

Why do they do this? Well, there’s a biological reason for teenage anger. Lauren Allerhand, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, puts it this way: “The prefrontal cortex, which is the part of our brains involved in problem-solving and impulse control, isn’t fully developed until your mid-to-late twenties.” To put it plainly—teens are biologically less likely to be able to handle feelings than adults. Add that to an influx of hormones and you’ve got a situation.

The good news is that Hemmen has a great way to handle this. “Instead of engaging in whatever provocative statement they shoot your way in the form of a hot potato you can just say something compassionate, which is what they need anyway. And you can say, ‘You know, sweetie, I know you’re under a lot of stress right now, so I’m just going to give you space,’” she says.

Hemmen continues by saying that while you can offer to help, it isn’t the best thing you can do for your teens. Even if it goes against every fiber of your being, letting them make the mistakes, feel the emotions, and figure things out on their own is more important because you’ll allow them to develop the skills they’ll need as adults. So be there for them emotionally, always. But don’t offer the solutions, and don’t fix the problem, even when they’re tossing the hottest potato your way.

Yesterday, our Modern Expression course, led by Chris Wyckoff, hosted its Dedication Speeches Ceremony in the library. Students showcased their dedication and passion through heartfelt speeches, reflecting on and committing to those they admire in our community and beyond. Their words were filled with kindness, compassion, creativity, and perseverance. It's incredible how their eloquent speeches have made me even prouder of our students and the inspiring individuals who continue to motivate and uplift our youth.

Middle school German students celebrated the end of the semester by making "Spaghettieis" or spaghetti ice cream on their last day of class! What a fun and messy end of the semester!

Do you have an old bike that you would like to donate?  The new VUMS bike club would like to help you out. Email Andy Kepes - akepes@anwsd.org - if you said “yes” to either question.  

Our students are hard at work in the welding class, learning valuable skills and creating some incredible projects. From mastering the basics to crafting their own metal masterpieces, it's all happening here!  Check out these fun photos of our future welders in action.